Chopped Onions: Gotta Buy ORE-IDA Cry
Wednesday, August 19, 2009 at 10:39AM I hate onions. They may LOOK perfectly innocent, but you are just a layer away from PURE EVIL my friends.
Oh sure, they’re just full of good intentions. They promise to add flavor to your life. They say they can take your favorite dishes to new heights of ecstasy... Yet some how you always end up crying into your sauté pan. You swear you’ll never mess around with that lying, cheating, no-good produce again, but those smooth-talking veggies always manage to roll back into your dinner routine…
“Look, I know I’ve made you cry before, but I’m different now babe. I’ve matured. I’ve got layers. Go ahead, open me up. I’ll push your spicy chili-con-carne right over the edge.”
And you believe!
Before you know it you’re drowning in your own swimming goggles, hacking the bastard to death with a meat clever.
Clearly, this is not a healthy relationship. Believe me ladies; you can do so much better…

These little guys are always there when you need them, fresh, frozen and willing to give you just as much flavor as you need without any nasty preservatives. They’ll help you make dinner, save you a few dishes, and spice up your lunch life for less than a dollar a bag. Best of all, they’ll never make you cry…
Ladies, I think I’m in love.


























Reader Comments (19)
AWESOME. I resist recipes with onions at all cost because I'm afraid of culinary-related tears, so I think these could very well be my new best friend!
NEVER make you cry? That sounds better than ANY man... uh, I mean, vegetable... that I've EVER dated... I mean, diced.
I guess this means I can take my swimming goggles out of the kitchen drawer.
Looks like you've come up with a winner there.
It's good to know there are others who get all emotional while chopping up onions. :D
Great Post! Stopping by from SITS!
Hi from SITS. I haven't had issues with onions for years. I think it may have to do with my contact lenses though. But great suggestion for those who suffer :)
Kitty,if you play your cards right and hold your mouth just right (i e smile a lot) maybe I will ask Father Christmas to bring you a Kitchen Kutter for Christmas. It can chop and dice a whole onion in under a minute! Fresh as it comes and "green" as well. A little less convenient but a lot healthier according to the experts. But I digress. Oh well ! Christmas is coming. You better not cry. You better not pout. Santa is watching you. I already know I'm getting a lump of coal and a sack of hickory switches for Christmas. Best be good if you want the good stuff. Cheers,BritGrit
I'm not a fan of onions, but I'm surprised there aren't more products like this out there. They never seem too fun to chop.
Wow. I can't believe they finally thought of that. I do agree with the person with the crazy veggie chopping machine, much easier. I use a food processor for many things, but upon occasion I do tend to cry over those dratted onions!
Onion Hint: Before you hand chop or dice onions just cut off the first couple of outer layers, and there will be no more tears. That is where they hide the tear gas.
I get the older kids to chop them. It works better than grounding them! (The kids, not the onions!)
Hi there! Thank you for all your blog comments. :) This is such a funny post! I hate chopping onions as well...I *always* tear up no matter what I try. I've heard if you light a candle and leave it next to the cutting board while chopping, it will relieve the fumes that cause the tears. I have yet to try this...who knows, maybe it's true! :)
Not sure what you meant about switching links... :) Let me know; I always enjoying meeting new bloggers.
Have a great day!
Great product!!! Thanks for the idea!
Boys make me cry enough as it is; onions might push me over the edge. ;)
Visiting over from SITS. Very funny! I don't often have trouble chopping onions either, but I think it's because of my contacts, too, like a previous commenter said. But I also sometimes use the food chopper from Pampered Chef - no more tears there, either. It's all contained.
But then it's much easier to open a bag, isn't it :)
Hope you have a good day.
I love the Pampered Chef chopper! I use it for everything, but when it comes to onions, it doesn't stop the tears. I guess I'm just sensitive...and a little lazy. :)
This is awesome for the lazy chefs like me ;)
I will have to check out this product!
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
why didn't anyone think of this sooner!?! trying chewing gum while you chop onions.
thanks for stopping by!